But now I find myself at another point of decision. I've already been accepted to Tokyo Communication Art College, but I'm finding it harder than I thought to determine exactly what major I want to choose and exactly what it is I'm shooting for.
What is it I want to be doing three or four years from now?
I've been thinking about doing a Pro Manga and Game Character Design double major, thinking that I'd work in a Game company to secure a stable income and provide myself with a visa while working toward getting my manga published on the side.
But I've been coming to some doubts lately as to where it is my heart lies, and what I want to be ultimately aiming for. A part of me always wants to shoot for the sky while standing on some sort of solid ground, but the more I keep living double (more like quadruple or sextuple) lives the more I see this burning of all ends of the candles as being an ongoing condition, and can I be a balanced person, can I meet a wife and raise a stable family, if 10 or so hours of my day are spent in a company job and the time I'm at home is spent working on my own freelance endeavors?
I think it's time I look more at what paths are before me so I can come to some decision about where it is I want to go and what it is that I really want to do.
GAME COMPANY
If your going to work for a company in Japan you have to be prepared to really eat drink and sleep your company work, because Japanese do not know the meaning of a 9 to 5 job.
I could be fine with that. That is if I'm doing something I enjoy. Ideally I'd like to work on fantasy based games and ideally I'd like to do the conceptual artwork and help establish the games image through 2D illustration.
But games are becoming more and more about 3D. And the most likely job I'd get would be that of a 3D modeler or animator. I really don't want to do animation.
I could do modeling, but I would still feel a need to pursue something more like illustration in my own free time.
Who I want to be like...
Yoshitaka Amano
Conceptual work for Final Fantasy, Vampire Hunter D, etc.
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Ayami Kojima
Konami's Castevania, etc.
MANGA
One thing that makes me less than eager to just spend my days doing 3D modeling is the wealth of stories I have to tell. I really want these stories to come to life. I want to draw them out as a manga. Yet there are some issues with this as well. I can't get a visa as a manga artist. I thought I could just do some translation or something on the side to get my visa, but apparently the government here isn't keen on allowing you to get a visa with a field unrelated to what you studied in school. (Particularly with 専門学校) There are ways around this. One thing that I would absolutely love, would be if I could get hired with a company translating manga to English, but I still need to look more into what that would entail.
Another challenge is the fact that I am not a native Japanese speaker. I can definitely write the comic in Japanese, but there may be places where I'm not able to grasp the write nuance of a word or phrase. A writer you'd imagine should be of above average language proficiency. I am above average as a foreigner but if I'm competing with native writers, than that's a different story. However you cut it, I'm below average compared to a native Japanese speaker.
But this could be remedied by employing a Japanese assistant, and I could always market my comic in English to America or another English speaking market.
I would still meet some challenges in manga since my style is rather unique and in opposition to the popular akiba-kei wide eyed, cutsy, moe girls that publishing companies know will sell. But if someone's willing to take a chance on my unique style than hopefully I'll be able to stand out fro the crowd and become something great. Plus I can rest assured in the fact that manga is and will probably always be... 2D.
But the big knife hanging over this is the question... what happens if I can't secure a visa?
Of course I could come to the States, but will I fit in to the American comic industry? I could do some other work like translation and teaching and what not, but honestly, I don't know if I can stay away from Japan for very long. There are a few circumstances that could possibly change my mind, but I'm not going to go into those here.
Who I want to be like...
Inoue Tekehiko
Vagabond, Slam Dunk, etc.
I actually saw this exhibit in person
Samura Hiroaki
Blade of the Immortal, etc.
CONCLUSIONS
If I go for the Game world there's a small chance I can do exactly what I want, but odds are I'll have to compromise and there's also a chance I may end up doing something I didn't want to be doing.
If I go for manga there's a small chance I can create a successful series that I can live comfortably off of, but it's more likely that I'll be doing some other work to keep afloat. The other work may be something I enjoy, or it may not.
Financially the game world is more secure, but the comic illustration world gives more opportunity for 2D art.
Ultimately the determiner in whether I do what I want or conform is my skill.
It's fine to aspire to be like an Amano or Inoue, but the final challenge is this. I have to be good. I have to be really freakin good. Good enough to stand above everyone else.
And truth is....
I'm just not that good... ....yet.
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